What could he do
by canny-bairn
Summary: For March madness angst challenge! Hotch find's out JJ and Will have broken up and believes he is already too late. Characters are CBS' not mine! Chapter 11 is new!
1. Chapter 1

_**For Kdzl's March Madness Angst Challenge. This is my first attempt at angst and to be honest I had no idea how to approach it so hopefully it will turn out ok when it is finished. Let me know what you think! **_

Chapter one

The weather was miserable outside, if the clock didn't read 10.21am it could have been night time as the sky in Virginia was a mixture of dark grey shades surely a sign that a much worse storm was approaching. The rain was pouring down the window of Hotch's office which he was in trance with. It was the first day the team were back in Quantico after a particularly harrowing case in Ohio and the paper work was mounting up. Hotch's attention turned to the photo of his son, Jack who was now seven, cheekily smiling to the person behind the camera. It was placed prominently on his desk with various files scattered around it. The photograph was taken about five months ago at Garcia and Kevin's wedding by JJ. She bought a nice photo frame for the picture and gave it to Jack to give to him for his Father's Day present. His thoughts floated to the blonde liaison down the hall. JJ and Will had been having difficulties lately according to Prentiss and although he was regretful that JJ was unhappy he was finding himself almost joyous that her relationship with the southern detective was coming to an apparent end.

He had loved Hailey and he knew that a part of him would always have those feelings for her. Even though they had been divorced nearly two years before Foyet brutally killed her he had practically shut himself off from everyone who threatened to get close enough to even attempt to bring him happiness apart from Jack. He tried to convince himself that it was because he was in love with her so much he couldn't love again but in truth it was most certainly because of the guilt and almost in fear of causing someone else pain.

Yet his feelings for JJ had started to grow stronger and he knows exactly when it started. Last year on a case in Nebraska they were paired off to talk to a parent, who had lost a child at the hands of the killer they were hunting, both were deeply affected by the conversation but it was JJ that went to him to make sure he was ok something that she had been doing for a while now. They had begun to talk and he had broken down. She sat with him for hours and they discussed everything from Hailey and Jack to the team, bad cases and even sports and music until they both eventually fell asleep. JJ was being a friend and he felt comfortable enough to open himself up to her only for nothing bad happening in consequence and that set off a chain of reactions to this point, sitting in his office happy in knowledge that JJ might be single soon. He shook his head and scrubbed his face, knowing that even if JJ was single what exactly would he do, she was his subordinate and they were friends.

He left his low lit office into the bright fluorescent bullpen to get a coffee from the kitchenette. Reid was busy scribbling a way oblivious to the world around him. Rossi's office door was slightly ajar with an orange glow shining through. Morgan and JJ must have been in there respective offices and Prentiss and Garcia were sitting at the table next to the kitchenette deep in conversation. He was busy preparing himself a coffee not trying to intrude into their discussion but eavesdropped none the less. Garcia seemed appalled by something and Prentiss appeared amused by it.

"_It's just he's my little munchkin, I don't understand why she wouldn't have asked me to babysit the little cutie pie, I could just eat him up with his squidgy little cheeks and his..."_

"_Garcia, after the last case I'm pretty sure JJ doesn't want you talking about eating her son, you know creepy cannibal UNSUBS driving around in caravans picking up their victims." Prentiss interjected "and anyway she already feels bad that she's been leaving Henry with you when we go away on cases lately" _

Hotch was frozen in place, was JJ and Will separated? He continued to listen in on the conversation, hope rising though him and his mind racing with all sorts of questions. He found himself gripping the coffee pot a little tighter; tying to remain composed but eager to know what was going on. Longing to know if he had any reason to walk to her office and suggest that maybe they should meet up for dinner or something you know to offer his assistance as a friend. A friend who is finding it increasingly difficult to look at her without his thoughts drifting to somewhere they shouldn't.

"_Ooh hush now, she should know I don't mind after all it's what fairy godmothers are for. Besides all I want is my sunshine to be happy and Doug is doing wonders for her so why would I mind if I looked after Henry when she went dancing and I can totally freak out Kevin with the kids talk when we look after him....." _

Garcia continued to ramble on but Hotch had to get away back into his office afraid that his emotions would finally betray him. He was too late. She had already moved on. Why was this so hard for him he knew nothing could have happened between them but still the thought of something could happen had been pretty good dream as of late. He stormed into his office practically slamming the door like a teenage whose been sent to their room and placing his coffee on the table so hard he nearly smashed the cup.

"_Well someone's in a fine mood this morning!" _Rossi smugly stated from the couch at the far side of the office "_The coffee's that bad?"_

_**Hopefully I'll update soon, I'm supposed to be writing an essay on multiculturalism and deviancy right now but got distracted by this. My plan is for a happy ending eventually hopefully its okay so far! **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks for the reviews! Hope you enjoy reading, if you have time please review and let me know what you think.**_

Chapter 2

"_I'm not in the mood right now Dave_" Hotch barked

"_Huh, never of guessed."_ That received him a glare

Rossi stood up, hands raised in a retreat mode but instead of leaving he moved the chair in front of Hotch's desk so he could sit down. Hotch sighed and sat down in his chair and let his head fall back.

"_So what's up Aaron? UNSUB? Strauss? Did that jerk from the legal department park in your spot again?"_ Rossi smirked, while he didn't like been at the receiving end of a Hotch smack down, he sure liked winding him up.

"_It's nothing."_

"_Nothing made you slam the door like a sixteen year old?"_ Rossi's eyebrows were raised intrigued to find out what was causing Hotch's delightful mood.

"_It's just when something happens to a member of the team that could affect their performance I expect to be informed."_ He was trying to remain professional

"_Something has happened to someone on the team?"_

"_JJ and Will broke up and now she's dating some guy and they're dancing or something_." His tone was accusing and almost childlike

"_Ohh, you heard then?"_

"_You know?"_

Rossi saw the hurt in his eyes. The whole team had seen the reliance that Hotch had placed on JJ since Hailey's death. "_Well it's kind of been common knowledge around here for a while. I'm not exactly up on the details about the guy she's dancing with but I know it ended badly with Will and I also know she didn't want you to have to worry about her"_

Hotch took a deep breath. The fact that Dave knew more about JJ's life was frustrating him. He also found the idea that JJ didn't want him to worry about her was getting starting to also affect him. He opened himself up to her, he told her about his childhood, his regrets about leaving Jack behind when they go on cases, his guilt over Hailey's death. Everything and she didn't want to let him be her confidant like how she became his. He could feel his face tensing and Dave started to look concerned at the silence that had become dominant.

"_Are you in love with JJ?"_

"_What?"_

"_You are aren't you? You're in love with JJ?"_

Hotch shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Disliking the fact that his emotions were betraying him and Rossi was picking up on it. He looked out of the window telling his old friend to leave the topic alone.

"_Why haven't you said anything before?"_

"_What's the point Dave, I'm her boss, and anyway I've got no idea if she feels the same or anything at all about me and lastly JJ's unavailable, she's moved on from her relationship with Will and is already dating some guy who probably doesn't deserve her." _

Rossi thought about his options of how to approach his long time friend but of course opted for the most direct.

"_Aaron, whining really doesn't suit you. You've been through a lot and you deserve to be happy but happiness isn't gunna come up and offers itself to you. If it's JJ that's gunna make you happy go and do something about it. Nothing good is going to come from locking yourself in your office, complaining to me about it." _

"_And what exactly would I say. Stop seeing that guy your dancing with and choose me instead, the emotionally damaged, workaholic bully who you don't feel comfortable talking to about your own life with and yeah I'm your boss so if Strauss ever found out we both could be fired but what the hell let's give it a go ? I'm not someone who generally goes around declaring how I feel on a daily basis Dave, besides she doesn't want me worrying about her do you honestly think she's going to want me"_

Impatiently Rossi stood up and headed towards the door_ "There's only one way you're going to find out, so suck it up and do something." _

Hotch watched his fellow profiler walk out of his office down into the bullpen. He was thinking over his friends' encouraging yet rather frank words. He started to tidy up his cluttered desk deciding that avoiding his feelings was going to be the best thing for everyone. But the picture of his son's smile distracted him and he knew that Dave was right. Happiness wasn't going to just appear but was it worth risking his present albeit obviously fragile relationship with the woman he realised he did love?

_**Thank my lack of dedication towards writing boring essays for the quickish update. So I'm all for happy endings especially when it comes to JJ/Hotch but as my ideas have started to change it looks as though it's gunna take a while to get there, if at all. Dum Dum Dum. Yeah I just wanted to be dramatic! I know where I'm going to take this story to a certain extent but input is always welcomed, hope everyone is still enjoying. **_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Hi thanks for reading and to those who have reviewed your great! So hopefully this is still angsty enough for the challenge. Review and let me know. **_

The rain had not let up since they had returned to Quantico and it was now 6.30. Hotch mused that if the weather kept on its torrential down pour he might need his swimsuit instead of his shirt and tie that he was currently wearing and a boat instead of his sedan. The day had been relatively quiet after Dave's little conversation with him. He occupied himself with signing forms, profiles and budget forms that JJ had given him on the plane ride home. Once again his thoughts had returned to Jennifer Jareau and he couldn't take it anymore, he had to know if she felt the same way he did or whether he was just building false hope on a foundation of disillusion.

He strode out of his office noticing that the bullpen was relatively quiet, most of its usual occupants including Prentiss and Reid must have decided on an early night he often forgot that people could actually have a life outside of the job. That's what he wanted. A life and he wanted to share it with the woman who made him feel human. He wanted JJ so much it hurt so much to think of her sharing a life with anyone else. He made it through the glass doors of the bullpen when the elevator pinged open. Agent Anderson walked out accompanied by a man. The man was as tall as Hotch, well built and was wearing casual clothing.

"_Er, Agent Hotchner, sir this gentleman is here to see Agent Jareau do you know if she is in her office_?" Anderson cowered

"_I'm on the way there now I can take him, thank you Anderson_." Hotch's focus was solely on the man who he figured might be JJ's dancing 'friend'

Both men stood facing each other, Hotch had his stoic glare perfected and he wasn't letting him move from his current position. The silence was getting awkward and Hotch could tell his adversary was uncomfortable.

"_So you're Hotch, right? JJ speaks so fondly of you. I'm Doug Westford her_" He extended his hand in an offer politeness but he was interrupted by Hotch

"_I know who you are to her." _Hotch stated abruptly.

He knew he couldn't go through with saying something to JJ about his feelings for her and now he was standing in front of the guy that she had chosen to be a part of her life. What could he do? Walk into her office with her new boyfriend by his side and demand she choose between them. No he couldn't do that, it's not fair on her and to be honest he couldn't deal with the rejection as he's not exactly sure she would choose him and that uncertainty was the worst part of the whole thing.

He turned his thoughts back to the younger man standing in front of him knowing that if he couldn't be with her then he was going to make it clear to Doug who he was getting involved with.

"_Listen up Doug, JJ is an amazing person, she is a valuable member of my unit and she's not exactly had the best time as of late. I don't want to see her get hurt, she doesn't need any more hurt in her life. Make JJ and her son happy otherwise you'll have me to deal with and I don't hold back any punches. If I find out you do anything at all to upset her, I swear to god you will have no idea what you've got yourself in to. I'm not someone you want to mess with am I clear? "_

To say they were practically the same height, Hotch seemed to be towering over the other man. His voice was low defiantly threatening and Hotch's eyes were dark and directly squared up with JJ's new man. He was about to say something more intimidating when he heard the media liaison come out of her office.

"_Hey, Doug you're here, and you've met Hotch_." JJ looked at the two in the standoff in the middle of the corridor switching her glance between the two men.

She lent up to kiss Doug on the cheek and Hotch took a deep breath, he couldn't stand here and watch the woman he's in love with in her new life with an assumingly perfect guy.

"Erm you ready to go?" Doug asked cautiously eyeing the older man looking longingly at JJ.

"Yeah just give me two minutes to get my stuff together I left my umbrella in my office. You wanna come with or you just going to hang out here?" She asked already knowing the answer

"I'll come with you, erm it was nice to meet you Agent Hotchner." He again extended his hand out to Hotch which unlike last time he reciprocated.

"Same here, you guys have a good night" He said rather dejectedly avoiding JJ's gaze

"You too Hotch. I'll see you in the morning." She replied innocently

He watched the pair walk into her office fighting off the urge to throw a punch in the face of the man that got to spend the evening with the beautiful blonde. He turned back into the bullpen needing the security of his office he knew blaming Doug wasn't the right thing. He was the one who couldn't confess that he's in love with JJ but what could he do she would see him the morning and they would go on in the same manner that they have ever since they'd met. They are professional colleagues and nothing more. Rather disheartening he pushed open his office door getting ready for another late night in the office rather than going home to his son whom he didn't want to see him so miserably trying to cope with the realization that he was too late. 

_**There is still a long way to go with this fic so I'm hoping people are still interested!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Hi hope you are still enjoying reading, let me know what you think in a review! **_

Self pity wasn't working for him. Hotch had been sitting in his office for the last four hours, forcing himself not to think of a certain person. The contents of his vend-machine dinner was mostly left untouched on his desk and while he had finished most of his reports there was still a fair few to get through. The rain had begun to get heavier outside and now accompanying the downpour was thunder and lightning a reflection of his mood no doubt. He decided that it was time to head home but a figure in the doorway of his office stopped him.

"_What are you doing here?"_ His voice was soft trying almost not to interrupt the silence

JJ stood there fiddling with the handbag and umbrella in her hands and her voice was almost nervous._ "Can I come in?"_

"_Of course. How long have you been standing there?"_

"_A little while, you seemed busy staring at nothing."_

He stood facing her, he smiled and she returned the favour. They stood there for felt like could have been hours but were most likely just seconds. Just looking at each other. It was comfortable and Hotch wanted nothing more than to just walk over the there and take her in his arms but something stopped him.

"_I thought you were out with Doug?"_

"_I was. He dropped me off here."_

He left her gaze and started sorting out some files to take home _"You should have probably gone home, if you stay here too late, you'll get dragged into some kind of work."_

"_Yeah, I just wanted to see how you were doing." _She knew he was trying avoiding talking

"_Really there is no need I'm fine"_

"_Okay, it's just because Doug said that you..."_

"_Doug shouldn't have said anything_" Hotch could feel himself getting defensive

"_Hotch, I'm not trying to upset you, Doug just said you talked to him about me. I wanted to make sure we're good."_

"_We are JJ, we're good"_ he spoke sharply and JJ didn't like the fact that he was shutting himself off from her. She reached out for his arm and tried to turn him so he was looking at her.

"_Hotch it really doesn't feel like we're good. Talk to me."_

"_No JJ I really don't feel like talking to you"_

"_What's going on?"_

"_Why didn't you tell me about Will?"_

She looked stunned, he was hurt and she caused that pain and that's something she never wanted to do.

"_I don't know why, I just, I couldn't. I only told Garcia and it made its way around the office, I assumed you would have heard"_

He looked at her in disbelief; he could feel his anger building because she was fine with him finding out through office gossip. "_Yeah well I did hear from around the office. I also heard that you were already whoring around with some new guy" _

She practically spat at him "_Whoring around with some guy?"_

They both were standing defensively waiting for the next blow to come. It was Hotch that couldn't contain his emotions anymore.

"_I told you everything Jaje. Don't you get it I NEVER TALK TO ANYONE ABOUT THE STUFF I TOLD YOU!"_ He was yelling and a part of him knew that this was how he was going to make things between them a whole lot worse but she got under his skin and he needed to distance himself.

"_DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS? I LOVE YOU! BUT OF COURSE YOU DON'T EVEN THINK OF ME LIKE THAT BECAUSE YOU ONLY THINK OF YOURSELF! LETS BE HONEST JJ THAT IS PROBABLY WHY WILL LEFT IN THE FIRST PLACE. SO WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TO WHAT EVER THE HELL HIS NAME IS!"_

He was red from shouting and his face had a desperate yet seriously annoyed look. JJ was trying to hold her own emotions together.

Her voice was shaky but she was in control she looked up at him and shook her head in frustration.

"_So I'm not just whoring around, but I'm selfish and I don't love you? For a profiler you're pretty clueless Hotch. The only reason I'm here at eleven o'clock at night is because Doug told me to stop and think about what was going to make me happy but I really didn't have to think about it because I knew it was you that I've wanted all this time, that it is you that makes me happy. Now I just feel stupid standing here listening to you judge me."_

She was on a roll and couldn't stop, she really did love him but if this was what he truly thought of her she had to guard herself. _"By the way, Doug, the guy you said so delicately that I'm whoring around with is one of my oldest friends' who I've known since I was fourteen, Doug and his partner Toby have just relocated to DC for work and they've been trying to make me have some fun for once. But maybe you are right Hotch maybe I should just go because I think it's obvious that nothing good could ever come from this conversation or from us. I'll see you in the morning."_

She stormed out of his office so he couldn't see the tears that were threatening to spill out. Hotch was stuck in his place berating himself of his idiotic jibes, he contemplated going after her but couldn't think of anything to say that would make this any better. She said it was him she wanted and he did nothing but yell at her. Instead of running after and apologising he flung the files off of his desk hoping she did not just walk out of his life as well as his office.

_**Forgot to say thanks to anyone who has reviewed or added this fic to your alerts you guys are the greatest **___


	5. Chapter 5

_**Thanks for all the reviews you spurted me on with writing so two chapters' will be up today woo! **_

It had been two weeks since their argument in Hotch's office. He tried to apologise on several occasions but she stubbornly didn't want to hear it. They had both learnt the art of avoiding each other on a daily basis and now it was at the point where they would only talk if it was relevant to a case. They never spent more than a few minutes alone and when they were put in that situation there was never any eye contact. Now the whole team were locked up in a small police station somewhere in rural Oklahoma searching for an UNSUB who was strangling women and dumping their bodies in public places, none of the team had more than a couple of hours sleep since they arrived five days ago and the case was at a standstill, they had more bodies than when they arrived and now had fewer leads.

Hotch was in the deputy sheriffs' office discussing the next best course of action and JJ was talking with the boyfriend of the last victim. The rest of the team were in the briefing room throwing ideas about.

Gingerly Morgan stood up to look over the board "_This is ridiculous we're getting nowhere and just confusing ourselves over this damn profile"_

"_Maybe we should go back to the crime scenes, see if we missed anything?"_ Prentiss suggested

Rossi countered "_We've been twice already there's nothing else the scene can tell us. What we need is a break." _

They all nodded in agreement, Reid offered to go and get some coffee from the kitchen area leaving the three agents to organize the table and small talking about the various characters they were working this week. When Reid returned however the subject manner had changed.

Prentiss was gesturing with her hands in despair, "_We should just lock them in a room and tell them we won't let them out until they've talked things over." _

"_Lock who in a room?"_ the younger doctor asked Prentiss innocently

"_JJ and Hotch."_

"_Why?"_

"_Seriously kid, you can't see what's going on?" _Morgan looked at him unbelievably "_You haven't noticed their change in behaviours lately. I mean come on they haven't been in the same room alone in weeks and all they talk about is work. Hotch is even more stoic than usual and JJ's wound up so tight she yelled at a cop yesterday."_

"_Do you think they had a disagreement?"_

They all looked at the supposed genius in disbelief; he truly had no idea about the way their two colleagues felt about each other.

"_I think a lovers' quarrel would be more appropriate, kid."_

"_Why would JJ and Hotch be having a lover's quarrel?" _

Rossi rolled his eyes and inwardly swore at the young agent's ignorance at his friend's situation.

"_Reid, they like each other, Hotch dealt with the whole thing wrong and now JJ's mad at him."_ Prentiss simply explained "_We're trying to come up with a way to get them to talk things over so they can give the relationship a chance"_

"_But Hotch is her supervisor they could get into a lot of trouble if Strauss found out. I mean the rules in the handbook state that an agent in a power of position..."_

Rossi held his hand up to stop him and interjected, "_Strauss isn't going to find out Reid we'll make sure of that. Hotch deserves a chance of happiness as does JJ they both just need a little nudge in the right direction."_

"_So what are you guys planning?"_

His three friends exchanged glances between them at loss for what they could do. Morgan smirked and said Garcia had suggested the use of handcuffs and alcohol and they'd already tried to send false emails pretending to be each other. Prentiss had wanted to lock them in a room and Rossi had gone down the route of trying blackmail but Hotch had way more to hold over his head. They tried sending them off on their own for interviews but nothing ever came of it and when they got desperate Garcia even thought of shutting down the elevator to the BAU when there was only them two in it but the logistics were never right.

"_Why don't you just talk to them? JJ and Hotch are pretty reasonable and professional people, if we told them that their avoiding of each other was affecting the team's ability to focus they'll probably comply."_

"_I'm not sure the direct approach is going to work this time, kid"_

"_Direct approach for what?_" They all turned their attention to the door to see JJ with curiosity written all over her face.

_**The next chapter will be up soon, I'm writing alot of essays at the minute and I keep writing these little peices in my sociologcal writerblock moments. **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**As promised here's the next chapter!**_

"_The direct approach for what_?" JJ re asked

The team just looked at her, mouths' gaping a few 'nothings' were heard which she matched with an eye roll and an 'uh huh'.

"_I've just spoke to Maddie Renoyld's boyfriend and he said he remembered seeing a blue pickup truck a few times outside Maddie's house, it might not be anything but it could be something."_

Prentiss seemed relieved that JJ didn't take their conversation any further and was concentrating on the case but when Hotch reappeared back in the room to see what the new development was and noticed JJ making her way to the back of the room trying to avoid him she came to the conclusion that things had to change between them. She turned her gaze to Rossi who looked as though he was on the same wave length as she was.

"_Morgan, Reid go to Maddie's neighbourhood see if anyone remembers seeing the vehicle, Prentiss..."_

Dave stood up and began to interrupt his supervisors' instructions "_Hotch before you send everyone off we need to say something." _

"_Okay"_ Hotch looked dubious at where this was heading, he knew David Rossi wasn't the most subtle communicator.

"_Aaron, JJ I'm the last person on earth who should be giving relationship advice trust me but if you two don't pull your crap together and if I have to part of another team discussion about how to get the media liaison and unit chief of the same team into the same room I'm going to do something I'll regret. That's all I've got to say right now but make sure you do something to sort this mess out_." Rossi directed the last part of his speech to Hotch who had his eyes closed wishing his friend did not have to have his little outburst in front of the whole team.

Rossi left with Prentiss to go back to the crime scenes to see if anyone had noticed the pickup truck while Morgan and Reid left for Maddie Renoyld's neighbourhood leaving the pair alone. There was an awkward silence in the room as it was the first time in a long while that their eyes had met. Hotch offered JJ a seat which she accepted and he sat down opposite her.

He focused on JJ and realized for the first time how distant her eyes were. _"I'm sorry. I can't express how sorry I am. I never meant to call you selfish or imply anything at all_" Hotch was nervous, he could usually read JJ like a book but right now she wasn't given away anything

He looked genuine but almost his voice was more like he was desperate than anything else. Desperate for her to tell him was going to be okay. That they were going to be okay. She gave him a small smile and sighed.

"_I know you didn't. It was partly my fault too I should have told you about Will and I breaking up, and I'm also sorry I just walked out, I tend to run away from things I can't control"_

"_I made you run"_ He knew he had to do anything he could to stop her running away again _"This shouldn't be so awkward JJ how many times have we been alone before?"_

JJ granted him a small laugh and her gaze started to soften as she spoke_ "Hotch what we are doing?"_

"_I've got no idea. I really do love you JJ"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yes"_ He had determination in his voice, like he had to convince her that he was truly in love with her. JJ's mind was racing and a feeling of dread was starting to take over her.

"_Hotch I love you too and there is nothing more I want than to be with you..."_

She was hesitating and knew why _"But, I'm your boss right?"_

"_Not just that. We haven't even started a relationship and already the whole team has gone crazy, I mean when was the last time Rossi gave a speech like that in front of the whole team. There's too many people that might get hurt Aaron, not just the team, there's the boy's a..."_

He finished her sentence again "_and each other?"_

"_Yeah, there's that. I couldn't stand the thought of hurting you and to be honest I couldn't bear getting hurt myself. I couldn't stand losing you from my life"_

"_So it's over before it even began?"_

"_Hotch please this is already so hard."_ They both looked as though they were trying to cover up being disappointed by overcompensating on the eye contact.

"_God I hope this gets easier"_ Hotch gave a rare smile "_I've really missed talking to you."_

"_I have too. You know it might be best to try and ease into this, start small. Do something we've always done, try to get back into a routine. I want to be able to have conversations like we used to." _

"_Like coffee on the plane home?"_

"_Well it does makes the time go faster and it becomes something to look forward too after a bad case, knowing that you're there....to talk to. We need our friendship back Hotch." _JJ brushed an escaped lock of hair behind her ear; he was staring intensely at her. It was the kind of look that would make her get knots in her stomach. Although this was one of the most difficult conversations either had been a part of but they both appeared to be relaxing somewhat in the company of each other and they were hoping that this is what they needed to get back on track.

"_We should get back to work, show the team that we can actually be in same room together"_ He stood up and waited for her to join him. They had made up their minds about not pursuing a relationship together and if it wasn't due to the case they were working on neither of them were sure they'd be still standing right about now.

_**I feel bad for keeping them apart, oh well, still a couple more chapters to go you never know what might happen or not happen! Let me know what you think in a review please. **_


	7. Chapter 7

_**I am going to update 'Never really friends' real soon, hopefully. I've only got 1000 words left to write on my deviancy essay woo but as the last 1000 words are turning out to be the hardest, here's what I came up with during my break in the library, if only writing essays came this quick. Let me know what you think in a review please.**_

Five weeks, two days and eight hours. That's how long it had been since Hotch had made the most stupid and biggest mistake of his life. He had a lot to choose from he knew that but in agreeing that a relationship with Jennifer Jareau could never work so they wouldn't even try was by far the most moronic. What was worse was the team didn't hold back on letting them know that it was the wrong decision and what was even worse than that he was getting along with JJ much better than previously, it wasn't exactly the same as before, he'd done a lot of damage by yelling at her the way he did and he knew she was deeply hurt by what he said but by opening himself up to her again he feared he would ruin the ever evolving progress they had made so far.

So although he was in a different predicament Hotch found himself sitting at his desk staring at the photo of his son again. He couldn't remember the last time he did paperwork without looking this photograph or without thinking of JJ. Without thinking of her ocean blue eyes, her flirty laugh, the way she wears and then plays with her sister's necklace when something is troubling her or the way she can just look at him and he knows exactly what she is thinking.

"_Come on man if you keep this up you're going to drive yourself crazy_" Derek Morgan stood at the door with a file in his hand and a grin the size of Texas across his face.

"_Keep what up?"_

"_Pining for a certain blonde from Pennsylvania"_

"_I'm not Pining Morgan I'm contemplating life."_

Derek shook his head in amusement, _"Man you need to get laid. If you want my opinion you need to go to her office and tell her straight up that what you two have got going on at the minute is not working out so well for the pair of you. I've never seen two people mope so much for so long. Seriously I'm kind of missing the avoiding era of the JJ and Hotch saga"_

They both gave an amused laugh at the situation they found themselves in, Morgan mocking Hotch over his love live or rather lack thereof. Morgan and Hotch's friendship had changed quite a bit over the years of working together in relaxed times like this neither had a problem of poking fun at the other. Morgan gave him the file in his hand and told him to get back to his pining. It was obvious to Hotch that it didn't matter if he was in a relationship with JJ or not the team were involved either way. It had been over a month and his feelings for JJ hadn't changed one bit instead they had become more evident. The old saying separation makes the heart grow stronger was certainly making sense right now and he knew that he had to do the only thing he could do right now and that was to tell JJ he didn't want to be the guy that she couldn't be with. That he didn't want to be just her colleague and nothing more. He didn't want to be the person she just talked to on the plane home. He didn't want some five minute conversation about the Redskins the day after they played. He didn't want a damn friendship with her. He wanted everything with her. He wanted a life with her.

Hotch looked out at the bullpen, Morgan was teasing Reid about something and other agents were swarming around the office busy getting on with the work they had to do. He took a deep breath; his mind was trying to keep up with his heart. He was trying to make sense of his feelings. He needed to build up his confidence. He was trying to come up with some way to get JJ on the same page as him without scaring her off. He did know one thing that he could do and that involved not letting her go like he did with Hailey.

With Hailey there was no way in making things better, he was never there and she couldn't understand why. He wasn't the only one to blame for the breakup, she was by no means innocent in the divorce proceedings but he realised that even though his first marriage was over it had given him his son, Jack, who was by far the most important person in the world to him and for that he was unimaginably grateful but the divorce had also shown him that he was also no longer head over heels in love with his high school sweetheart. Even when she died the main thing he felt was guilt, it was because of his job, because of who he was, that she died and for that reason alone some part of him would always feel guilty. He felt anger that his son would never see his mother again; he was frustrated at his inability to save her and was immensely fearful that he wouldn't be good enough for Jack. Hailey may not have been his one and only true love she was however his longest friend to say love was only a part of his past with her would be inaccurate but now three years later since they lost her, he needed to move on. It was the most traumatic thing he had ever been through, losing Hailey and the closeness he came to losing Jack but he had to move on. To show Jack that it was okay to keep living though his mother wasn't there, it was okay to be happy and Hotch wanted to be happy.

JJ was the one who made him happy, nothing had even happened between them other than opening himself up to her. Something he had never done to anyone before. Sure Hailey knew about his sketchy relationship with his parents but he never told her how he needed to be in control of his emotions and everything else because his mother was so out of control and because his father was a cheat he vowed he would always be faithful and dedicated to just one woman. He knew Sean was clued in to his regrets of leaving Jack behind when they went on cases but Sean didn't know he would try to keep the tears from falling every time he said goodnight to his son over the phone from some strange town. The team all knew that he was heartbroken over Hailey's death and they had all seen him change but they didn't know that killing Foyet with his bare hands had affected him so much his nightmares of the event would end with him throwing up. No he had only told JJ all of this, like how he told her that while The Beatles' White album was his favourite but he was a secret glam rock fan and how when he was really young he never dreamed of being a lawyer or an FBI agent but he wanted to be race car driver, she was the only one who knew the way in which he would always take the tomatoes out of a salad sandwich or couldn't drink gin anymore because of a very, very bad college experience.

Morgan was right he couldn't keep pining.....contemplating life. So he stood nearly taking the desk with him he left his office bee-lined through the bullpen towards the elevators and practically took the glass doors of the hinges. He was always a driven person but at this moment in time it was almost scary. Morgan whistled and various agents basically leaped to get out of the way of the motivated unit chief. He had JJ's office in his sights. Hotch's mind was racing on what he was going to do. He wasn't going to talk things through with her he wasn't going to give her the time to object to him being there. He was going to have to grab her and kiss her, be damned with the consequences because he knew that that was the one thing he could do to get her to come to the same conclusion as him.

Hotch strode down the corridor his confidence growing with each step he took. He looked at the sign on the door: SSA JENNIFER JAREAU COMMUNICATION COORDINATOR. He knocked and grabbed the handle pushing it open with such enthusiasm he nearly fell through.

Expecting to see her sat in her usual position hunched over her desk going over files, she was nowhere to be seen. Instead he found another person there with a familiar face that was standing at the back of the room.

"_Detective Lamontegne?"_


	8. Chapter 8

He stared at the shorter man in front of him, JJ was nowhere to be seen and he appeared to be pacing the room.

"_Hotch, it's good to see you again_" The Cajun droned out

Rather abruptly Hotch asked "_What the hell are you doing here_?"

Will could see some sort of anger in the profilers' eyes most doubt due to his own departure two months ago, Hotch had always been somewhat protective of JJ. At the hospital when JJ had given birth to Henry the FBI agent had taken him aside when they went for coffee and had practically threatened him and now he was concerned that his girlfriend's boss would follow through on his promise to physically hurt him if he ever hurt JJ or her son.

"_I need to make things up with JJ, erm you don't happen to know where she is do you? I've been in here for the last twenty minutes and she hasn't showed up_."

Hotch stared at him in disbelief, he knew that JJ said she loved him but if she had to choose between him and her child's father he's not sure he'd be the victor.

* * *

JJ and Emily were with Garcia in her lair gossiping about Emily's date the previous night with a DC lawyer when Agent Anderson came running in urgently telling her there was some kind of scuffle going on in her office involving Agent Hotchner. Garcia and Emily followed her down the corridor and round the corner only to see Aaron Hotchner pinning Will Lamontegne up against the wall by the scruff of his collar.

"_What the hell are you two doing?"_ JJ yelled startling both of them

Will pushed Hotch away and mumbled something under his breath, he looked at the two blondes and the brunette women standing there waiting for an explanation then proceeded into JJ's office. Hotch meanwhile was avoiding the curious gazes by staring at the floor. His eyes met JJ's and he just told her not to bother and walked away.

"_Hotch don't just walk away. What in God's name is going on?"_

"_JJ your boyfriend is waiting for you in your office"_ He rolled his eyes and walked off into the direction of the bullpen. JJ was confused and the fact that her ex was waiting for her in her office and the guy she loved didn't want to talk to her wasn't doing anything to settle her mind. She turned to the girls' and Anderson looking for some sort of help.

Anderson looked awkward and excused himself and while the girls had a sympathetic looks in their eyes their smirks were telling another story. JJ groaned looking for an escape route when Garcia put her arm around her shoulder trying to hold her in place.

"_Nah huh sunshine you can't just runaway from this one it's time to face facts. Your love life needs dealing with"_

"_Maybe you guys could just tell them...."_

Emily interrupted _"No Jaje, you have to be the one to deal with this one, remember what Hotch was like the last time he heard something about you from someone else_" JJ's face had guilty written all over it.

"_You do love Hotch don't you?"_ The eccentric blonde asked

"_Yes. It's just not that simple Pen, he's my boss and he's my friend and Will. Will is my kids' father he at least deserves a chance to explain everything."_

Emily looked at her in concern "_You're going to choose Will aren't you?"_

_JJ inhaled sharply and placed her hand on her forehead "Whose says I'm going to choose either of them. Hotch and I came to the decision that being in a relationship together would be the worst thing for everyone. And Will and I ended badly, we both wanted different things we still probably do, but I still want Henry to know his father and...."_

Garcia squeezed her shoulder and after throwing Prentiss a concerned glare she spoke her mind to her long time friend. _"Jaje we love you and will support you whatever choice you make. But don't do something you will regret. If it is Will you want to be with then make sure your honest with Hotch and vice versa okay, if you don't want either of them then tell let them know. Only you know what you want but other people's hearts are involved here as well."_

"_I know Garcia, the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. When did my life turn into a friggin soap opera?"_

"_Well you can't help it if guy's fall heads over heels in love you can you? Did I mention I really don't like you?"_ Prentiss joke seemed to relax her but the presence of Will at the doorway asking her if everything was alright made her tense up again.

* * *

Hotch wanted to scream. Once again he slammed the door to his office like a fourteen year old leaving Morgan and Reid in the bullpen wondering how a forty something year old man could have mood swings worse than any teenager they had met before. Hotch couldn't understand how hard it was becoming just to tell JJ that he loved her and that wanted to be with her. They had spent over a year studiously ignoring their feelings for each other due to the relationship she was in. Then when she was single she didn't tell him and he yelled at her. Then they spent weeks not talking and when they did stop avoiding each other they agreed not to do anything further. Now when they were friendly again and he was at the point that he would risk anything to be with her, the slow Cajun who happened to be her son's dad returned.

He was standing at the window of his office peering through his blinds looking at the busy bullpen. The many agents that were busily getting on with the daily workings of the BAU had all acknowledged his observation of them but were expertly avoiding eye contact. He noticed through the glass doors, JJ wearing her coat at the elevators with Will. She must have made her choice and he felt as though an elephant was sitting on his chest. There was a sudden yet hesitant knock at his office door. He tried to pull himself together when Prentiss walked in.

Prentiss mentally swore at JJ for agreeing to do this, "_Hey Hotch. Erm, JJ is taking off for the day she's going to take Will to go see Henry, erm she said she'll phone you later."_

He looked away thanking her and wishing she would just leave him in peace. She walked to the doorway but stopped, turned and looked incredibly nervous.

"_Hotch don't give up on her just yet okay?"_

He nodded and Prentiss left leaving him to his own thoughts. Of course he couldn't give up on her, he could never give up on her. He loved her.

* * *

It was getting late and Hotch was still in his office when Rossi came and sat down opposite him. Hotch poured them both a small glass of whiskey hoping Dave was not in the mood for talking which he knew was the only reason he was sitting in front of him.

"_What are you going to do_?" His friend asked him with concern in his voice.

What could he do, he would never want to split up a family. Will had left on his own accord but if he wanted them to be a family again and JJ agreed there's not much he could do. He loved JJ and he knew she loved him but he'd been in her place he'd been at the breaking point of a relationship involving a kid and he wouldn't want to be a factor in such a big decision. His cell rang and the id showed it was JJ.

Hotch responded to Rossi's earlier question but still looking at his phone. "_I'm not entirely sure_."


	9. Chapter 9

_**Not long left to go now, I think. Hope you are still enjoying reading it let me know your thoughts in a review please!**_

He left his phone to go to voicemail and continued to talk to Rossi about anything but JJ. They sat for about half an hour before they decided it was time to head out. The team were getting a much earned weekend off with having no urgent cases and Hotch and the three other male agents on the team plus Kevin had arranged a poker game tomorrow night at Hotch's to get him thinking about something other than their media liaison. He decided to focus on the preparations for that rather than JJ as he made his way home.

He got back to his apartment to find Jack still up with his 'babysitter' Marc, a six foot well built security detailed, military trained medic who just so happened to be the best with kids it also helped that he had a crystal clear background check. Hotch was still paranoid after the whole Foyet case and had been very clear that if Jack wasn't with a family member when he left town, he was leaving his son with someone who he could trust to protect him so he called a few of his old contacts and was introduced to Marc who was now yet another uncle for Jack to look up to. Hotch told Marc that he had the weekend off and he would call him next week and thanked him for today. After Marc left his full attention was Jack who although was very tired seen as it was nearly eleven was even more excited to spend time with his dad.

The father and son had a late night hot chocolate and Jack enthusiastically told his dad about his day and tried to stifle a yawn before Hotch told Jack it was time for bed. There was little confrontation as he started to fall asleep in his dad's arms before they made it to his room. Hotch watched as his seven year old son fell into slumber before he crept out of the room leaving just the nightlight on and made his way to secure the apartment before he went to his own room to sleep.

He got ready for bed but the sight of his cell on the bedside table made him stop. He knew JJ had left a message but had stubbornly chosen to ignore it so far. He switched off the light and got under the covers of his bed. He tossed and turned for ten minutes before he switched the light back on and picked up his mobile phone. He dialled voicemail and waited to hear JJ's voice admitting she was going back to Will.

"_Hey, Aaron, I know today was difficult and I don't necessarily know what he said for you to push him up against the wall but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I just left again too. I just need you to know that he's Henry's father and you know more than anyone the importance of a father being in his son's life I had to let him see Henry. I really want to talk to you soon okay? Call me back. Please." _Her voice was quiet and desperate.

He closed his phone and placed it back on the table. He switched off the light and looked up to the ceiling in the complete darkness. Will was Henry's father and that means that she's going back to him. Will leaves her and reappears with no explanation and she's taking him back. Hotch was getting himself wound up again. He didn't want there to be no chance at all with JJ. Even though they agreed on not developing their relationship any further than they had but still he built up the courage to go and change her mind only to be faced with her ex. Will hadn't done anything really to be pushed up against the wall outside JJ's office the only reason he did so was because he aggravated Will so much Will asked him what his problem was and he decided to show him.

With all these thoughts he was on edge but soon Hotch had managed to fall into a restless sleep. His dreams jumped from remembering the days' events to his usual nightmare of Foyet, though something was different this time. It started like it always did seeing Hailey on the floor of his old bedroom covered in blood, then watching as Foyet stood in front of him with a grin on his face, usually he would lunge for the serial killer but in this instance he heard someone behind him calling his name, it was JJ and she was telling him to follow her when he looked back at where Foyet previously stood he wasn't there anymore and neither was Hailey. He started to walk towards JJ and Jack came running to him from behind the beautiful blonde. He lifted the little boy into his arms but his gaze was centred on JJ.

"_Dad,_ _can we have pancakes?"_ He nodded and laughed at JJ who was intensely watching the two interact; he tried not to speak louder than a whisper afraid that she would disappear.

"_What are you staring at?"_

"_Just two of my favourite guys, come on follow me."_ She smiled and held out a hand which he took.

"_DAD can we have pancakes?" _Jack was tugging at his neck "_DAD CAN WE HAVE PANCAKES_?"

He was starting to stir but he could still hear Jack's question. He jumped when he opened his eyes to find his son very close to his face asking if he could have pancakes. Hotch looked at the clock which read 07.11am but instead of protesting he followed a very wide awake Jack into the kitchen to start making the requested pancakes.

After breakfast they both got ready and went about tidying the apartment in anticipation for the child friendly poker game that night. Jack decided that he was old enough to play with the big boys after repeatedly winning at Go! Fish and upon hearing of the planned poker game had insisted that he was there. Rossi and Morgan hadn't helped in deterring him letting him know that they would force his dad to let him stay up late to play. They went out to get chips and dips and Jack wanted to go to the magic store to pick up some new trick so he could play with Reid when he would inevitably get bored but telling his dad that they had to play more than one game otherwise what's the fun in a games night.

Hotch was keeping himself busy with Jack and organising poker night that he tried to push the voicemail message to the back of his mind. The guys had said they'd be there eight-ish and they'd bring 'grown up' refreshments so all Hotch had left to do in the two hours he had left before his guests came was freshen himself and Jack up and set the table and put the food out. Jack was playing in his room while Hotch was shaving, he looked at the clock and saw that he still had forty minutes before the guys would be there when there was a knock at the door he figured Dave was early.

He became nervous when he saw JJ not Rossi standing there through the peephole with no Henry in her arms instead her arms looked as though they were fastened to her side and she was looking everywhere except in front of her. He opened the door, they stared at each other both not speaking. Before it could get awkward he stepped aside letting her in.

JJ brushed past him and looking around the room and she could see the efforts of his day. The dining table was set up for the game and the place was rather neat for a seven year old living there. The TV had some random kids show playing and when she took in the man appearance in front of her she could tell he was in the process of getting ready. She took a deep breath and he began to speak but she cut in before he could finish his first word.

"_We need to talk_."

_

* * *

_

_**Thanks for the reviews and story alerts you guys are great. Deeda I hope you can deal with this little cliff-hanger sorry! **_


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hi to everyone who is reading and reviewing *waves* Enjoy.**_

"_Okay_" he was preparing himself for disappointment, the fact that Henry wasn't with her meant he must be with Will and that meant _he_ was still around.

"_Hotch. Aaron, I'm not good at this, the whole talking about my own emotions thing. I mean I'm fine with dealing with other peoples and I know I get effected by lots of different things but expressing how I feel to someone, it's difficult for me and it's not you I just...It's how I've always been"_

"_I understand. It's extremely difficult for me too. Telling you what I did, that was hard."_

"_I know and that's why I'm here, to make things_ better" JJ's breathing quickened before she spoke again. _"You're the only one on the team that knows about my sister. I told you because I trusted you and I felt that I needed to talk about her to you, that by telling you about her suicide it could somehow help you with your grief. My sister's death was one of the hardest things I've ever had to come to terms with. I was angry at her for a long time. My mom was angry for a long time too, it got pretty bad between us. I guess I reminded her of Ally, that's my sister's name Allison or Ally as we used to call her. It got so bad that my mom didn't talk to me for the year after Ally's death so I lived with my Aunt for a while"_ JJ paused and Hotch told her she didn't have to go on.

"_I want to keep going."_ She nodded and stepped closer to him. _"I'm the middle child, Ally was the oldest, and then it's my brother Mikey, then me and then my younger brother Andrew. My brother's were always my dad's pride and when Ally died.... Well if his attention wasn't on one of Mikey's hockey games or teaching Andy the way around a car then it was on Bourbon. His drinking got a lot worse, he was never violent but he could get mean it got so bad that he lost his job. My parents soon divorced and he kind of became a recluse. Living in a small town didn't help, there was a lot of gossip about Ally and the family. I focused most of time on getting out of that place. My childhood wasn't horrible by any means it was just complicated. We never talk about things like emotions in my family especially after Ally, it got too hard for everyone, so I guess that's why I find telling people my feelings awkward_" She was holding it together, barely he could see the glint in her eyes of the tears forming.

"_I'm so sorry I never talked to you about breaking up with Will."_

He titled his head holding back from trying to physically comfort her "_JJ you've already said you're sorry in Oklahoma and honestly you've got nothing to be sorry for."_

"_Yeah but I just wanted to say it again that I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you had to walk into my office and see Will there and I'm sorry for not coming to you before I left yesterday."_

"_I got your voicemail JJ you don't need to explain"_

"_So why didn't you call me back?"_

"_Because I'm stubborn"_

They shared a laugh and he stepped closer to her faintly letting his thumb dry her cheek after an escaped tear had fallen. He froze there as they were watching each other and his hand was still on her cheek.

"_Where's Henry?"_ he was trying to be sensitive and not mention Will's name knowing that he would sound defensive.

"_He's with Doug and Toby."_ She had a small sad smile forming on her face "_I told Will I wanted him to be a part of Henry's life but that was all. I told him I didn't want to be with him. I told him that while I thought I loved him it was only because I thought I had too because of Henry. He kind of figured that I loved you after yesterday. We got into an argument. He said he'd be in touch about seeing Henry but he couldn't hang around and see what he walked out on"_

"_So you still love me huh?"_ both of their voice were quiet trying not to destroy this intimate moment that they were sharing.

JJ nodded shyly "_I don't think that's going to change anytime soon"_

"_I hope it never changes_" He looked at her and he stepped even closer to her so their bodies were touching. He lifted her head and his own was tilting inwards so his lips could meet hers.

Before anything could happen Jack came running out of his room interrupting their intentions shouting _"Dad can we have some ice cream now?"_

The two agents separated quickly both realizing that it was far too early to be answering questions from a curious seven year old.

"_Hi JJ"_ Jack ran up to her to give her a hug

"_Hi buddy, have you been good?"_

"_Yeah I helped dad with the chores today."_ He boasted with an eager smile

"_Then I think you defiantly deserve some ice cream"_ her gave her an even bigger smile and looked at his dad for confirmation

"_Okay but why don't you go in to your room a..."_ He got interrupted again by a knock on the door

He looked sympathetically at JJ and she just smirked. Jack took hold of her hand to lead her into the kitchen so she would get him some ice cream and Hotch went to answer the door. Standing there was David Rossi in casual clothing and holding a grocery bag.

"_You have really great timing don't you?"_

Rossi just looked at his friend confused "_What's that supposed to mean?"_

When he got further into the apartment he guessed what he was going on about. Jennifer Jareau came out if Hotch's kitchen smiling at him.

"_Hey Rossi_" She looked between the two men and Rossi was looking between his two colleagues and a smug grin appeared

"_So I'm going to go before you're little poker game takes hold."_ Her focus turned to Hotch _"I gave Jack a couple of scoops of Ben & Jerry's so he might get a little hyper with the sugar rush"_

He sniggered at her lack of pity towards the situation she could be leaving him in with a hyper seven year old. Rossi retreated towards the dining table to try and gave them a little privacy but still watching the two interact. They were standing in the doorway facing each other again quietly finding it difficult to say good bye,

"_So call me tomorrow or something. I mean I guess I'll just see you Monday so there really is no reason for you to call me tomorrow, unless you want to...."_

He had to stop her rambling so he did the only thing he could do. He grabbed her waist and pulled him towards her, she placed her hands around his neck then softly he placed his lips on hers and slowly and tenderly they were kissing in his doorway with an audience watching. Rossi and Jack were watching from inside the apartment and Morgan was walking up the corridor, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

They parted to applause from their less than humble colleagues.

"_I'll see you tomorrow."_ Hotch stated, his dimples forming at the side of his mouth

"_Great" _

She walked backwards not breaking eye contact with him then turned to leave his doorway only to see Morgan looking fully satisfied with himself. He looked as though he was about to say something so she held up her hands as she passed him still with a smile of her own plastered on her face.

"_Don't even bother"_

_**I couldn't keep them apart anymore I'm a sucker for happy endings I guess. I took writers' prerogative with JJ's family background seen as we don't know much hope no one minds. Well this is the penultimate chapter so let me know what you think of the fic so far in a review please – I'm not begging (I am!) Just prodding you to make me happy!!! **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Wow so this is the end. Let me know what you think in a review!**_

Four months, one week and three days. That's how long it had been since he made the best decision of his life. Four months, one week and three days ago he kissed Jennifer Jareau. It had been the some of the best four months of his life so far. Hotch went to JJ's the Sunday after the poker game – which involved innuendo's all night long – and they just hung out, just the two of them and the boys watching films and so on. They had decided that they would take it slow to give them enough time to figure out how they were going to deal with being in each other's lives in this way and to let the boys get to know each other better. They also didn't want to be insensitive to Jack and Jessica as even though it had been three years they didn't want it to appear that JJ was going to replace Hailey. The team were more than happy to poke fun at the pair for taking so long to get together but then only to decide to take things slow but at the end of the day they both knew they had to ease into their relationship as there were many people invested in it not just them.

At work while Hotch tried to remain professional and impartial their budding romance still affected his decisions when it came to JJ. They had decided they shouldn't go on raids together and he referred all of JJ's assessments and other relevant things to Rossi in order to be fair. Their relationship had become common knowledge on the 6th floor of the Quantico building yet it was still talked about in hushed tones out of respect and knowing that their being together would be frowned upon if anyone from the 15th floor found out. Hotch became somewhat relaxed at work and his ever present smile was one reason alone not to let him or JJ hear the gossip about them.

Their official first date was JJ's choice she decided on pizza and Go Karting at a local track remembering Hotch's wanting to be a racing driver when he was younger. Her competitiveness meant Hotch let her win but he was truly thankful that she considered and remembered what he had told her about his childhood dreams. One of their following dates that Hotch arranged involved a trip to New York, the date included fancy dinners, a Broadway show and ice skating. They spent a few nights in the city while the boys were being watched by Marc and after a late night drink she thanked him in her own special way for the great time she was having. They had become extremely close and the team joked that they found their close relationship almost sickening but really couldn't be any happier for the pair.

Fast-forward to the present and Hotch was sitting at his desk at home trying to complete a request form that had to be handed in the next day before he went to bed. His attention was turned to the photo on his desk of him with Jack, Henry and JJ at the zoo, all had their faces painted. Jack's face was a tiger, Henry's was a monkey and JJ had glittery butterfly wings around her eyes. JJ had coerced Hotch into getting a lion face painted on him and while he might have still had some stubborn paint still on his face the next day at the team briefing which everyone couldn't help but stare at, the night before had certainly made up for it. He smiled at the memory and quickly finished up signing the forms.

Hotch looked around his home noting how since they had started spending more time together here, his apartment had somehow became a lot more messy yet his life had become a lot more put together. He picked up Mr Dinosaur, Henry's cleverly named stuffed dinosaur toy and quietly checked on the two sleeping boys who had started to share a room when Henry and his mom stayed with him and Jack. Their room was again never tidy but they were getting on like a house on fire. Jack took to being over protective of Henry and would occupy the four year olds time constantly. Hotch placed Mr Dinosaur next to Henry and gave him a light kiss on his forehead. He turned to do the same to Jack but stood on some kind of squeaky toy. He froze praying he did not disturb either of them. Luckily they were both too deep in sleep to be woken so he continued towards his son. He tucked Jack in better who had obviously been tossing as his blanket was practically on the floor and kissed his forehead and proceeded to leave the room as silently as he entered.

He continued on his patrol around the apartment checking everything was secure before he made his way to his bedroom. He stood at the doorway admiring the woman sitting on his bed going through the developed photos she had taken at Emily's big birthday bash last week. She could feel his gaze on her but was adamantly concentrating on her little project she started when he went to do some paper work. Finally she couldn't take it anymore she turned to see him staring intensely at her creating butterflies in stomach.

"_Weren't you ever told that it's rude to stare?"_

He smirked loving the way she looked sitting on his bed in his old green Georgetown hoody and her grey pyjama shorts, her hair was messily pulled back in a loose bun and she was crossed legged surrounded by photos.

"_What can I say you're something to look at_"

She chuckled at his reply and climbed off the bed to clear away the photographs. He came up behind her wrapping his arms around her and pulling her backwards into the embrace. He trailed kisses down her neck and she groaned in response. He hummed something into her neck and she turned to kiss him on his lips. They stood there for what could easily have lasted for hours focused solely on each other. Until JJ pulled away telling him it was time for bed which he whimpered at in protest but she just kissed him again and he was putty in her hands, doing as she asked.

Hotch made his way into the bathroom to get himself ready and JJ was busy clearing the bed and sorting herself out. He looked in the mirror down at his scars he had received from Foyet. His mind wondered from knowing he lost Hailey and wondering if she'd approve of JJ being the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with to the thoughts of how self conscious he was around JJ at first because of the scars only to be pulled out of his thoughts vaguely aware of JJ asking if he was okay.

When he re-entered the bedroom JJ was already under the covers, he turned the lights off before he expertly making his way to the far side of the bed, he always slept closet to the door paranoia kicking in again. He slipped under the blankets slowly dragging his hands up and down his girlfriend's body before cosying up to her steadying his hands around her middle.

As her back was against his front he leant over her slender body, to kiss her soundly on her lips and after doing so she turned snuggling up to him. JJ placed her head on his chest, her leg took its place between his and her hands were unconsciously tracing a random pattern on his firm chest.

Sleepily JJ whispered "_Love you_"

"_I love you too Jaje, always_"

After a while he could feel her breathing evening out and his mind went back to wondering. He closed his eyes, taking in the scent of JJ's fruity shampoo smelling hair. His dreams no longer starred the Reaper or the images of his murdered first love now they were full of days spent with JJ and the boys and dreams of future days with the people he loved the most in the world. He had become somewhat orientated around the sleeping blonde in his arms but he didn't care. Instead he welcomed the unconditional love he felt for JJ, what else could he do? He was happy and Hotch was living his life at last. That was all he wanted for so long and to be honest he considered him a spoiled man for finally being able to spend his life with the woman he loved.

The end

_**So I hope I've done justice to the pairing and to the prompt given by Kdzl in the March madness challenge. Thanks to everyone who has been reading and reviewing you guys have honestly been awesome, I've never wrote anything like this before and you all made me want to keep on writing. Hopefully I'll get some inspiration to write more JJ/Hotch fics, I have got a few ideas and there may be even an angsty sequel because there needs to be more stories on the jotch pairing out there. Thanks again for your positive comments and if you haven't reviewed but have read the story please do to let me know what you guys think! **_


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